So, this post was always gonna have to happen. Better sooner rather than later right? I'm writing it today because today, the 28th of October 2015, I've hit 250,000 views on my YouTube channel (252,000 to be exact).

For me, when I started, I just wanted to be famous. I wanted to be the people I was watching on my computer screen. For such a long time I was desperately trying to be someone else. Being someone else is not only hard but a form of lying. Your deceiving your audience and your deceiving yourself. Not only is being famous something you shouldn't make your primary goal, being someone else that isn't your true self is also a bad idea.

After I realised I was doing both of those things I attempted to stop. Vlogging was never my thing. I found it uncomfortable talking to the camera. I wanted to stop but I knew that I needed to keep making videos. I churned out video after video and soon it not only tired myself but also tired my audience. When you look at your own work and are ashamed, embarrassed and even annoyed at it, you know you have to change something. I did. Don't worry.

I posted a video entitled "Quitting YouTube". Now this is where I get pissed off. The fact that some people couldn't be bothered to watch 30 seconds of a video annoyed me a lot. The fact that are attention spans are so low that we can't even get that far into a video disappoints me. What else annoys me is that people insisted on still asking me "Why are you still posting videos when you said you where quitting it". Watch the video, and all shall be explained. It's pretty obvious.

So, the vlogs stopped... and so did the videos. It was a fear of mine. After making my last vlog I knew I was going to struggle to produce content. The best thing about writing is I have so much more freedom than videos. There's copyright, privacy and general concerns that I have to evaluate in every video. But here, I can just write whatever I want.

When the content dried up I tried to post, I created a channel trailer and posted my holiday in Arran. Both where ok videos but not the videos. Not the videos I wanted to make. Still, to this day, I'm struggling to make videos I like. I wan't so hard to be creative, different and innovative but age, location and other humans beliefs in myself hold me back from creating just that. Why can't people just put some trust in you. That also annoys me (you'd be thinking I'd be pretty annoyed by this point now, don't worry, I'm not that annoyed). 

So when I posted a little video named Words I was blown off my feet. My highest hitting video was Clouds and it sat at a meagre 18,000 views. I didn't even think Words was that good a video (although I suppose it has a pretty generic title). 

So now, after setting my goal of a quarter of a million channel views at the end of last year, I've finally reached it. Now would be the place that I write about all the hard work I've put in to get here. I haven't really put that much in to be perfectly honest. I just filmed and edited a few videos here and there. That's why it's such a nice feeling that I've hit my goal without almost knowing. I might also thank some people. Let's wait til the end for the thank you's. Not the end of this blog post. Trust me, you'll get it eventually. 

So, what next. 500,000? I better get working.