So. My book was released. Yesterday, I received the final e-mail asking me to confirm everything was set in place. As this isn't the book and your a real person, reading this real blog post who (for some reason) is interested in my stories, I can be 100% honest with you. And trust me, I'm going to be that and more. Back to our topic, my book. I was reading that email, knowing full well that I wasn't ready. As I can't actually tell you what school I go to. Wait. I told you I was going to be 100% honest a few sentences ago. Humans aren't trustable. We simply can't foresee far enough, hard enough or well enough to stop these natural errors. I could of course go back and edit what I said but then I wouldn't be being authentic in front of you. I'm not a secretive guy, but some things I like keeping to myself, and any of the 3,170,000,000,000 people that have access to the internet could be reading this (emphasis on could) so I'm not giving personal details away like that. Simple, my school doesn't give me enough time. You thought your life was hard, try being in school from 8am-9pm Monday-Friday (oh and we also have school on Saturday. I know right. Weird.). I'm living in a constant cycle of work, sport and work. I haven't even had a chance to socially promote my book. Not only does that sadden me, it annoys me. I want to show the world and my life is holding me back.
Maybe not being able to share it is a good thing. It shifted 150-200 copies (including digital) in the first week and to all those people who potentially read it, got the wrong impression of me. I wrote a book I wasn't happy with. I lived up to the YouTuber persona everyone expects out of them. I say them as I'm not them. Not in a bad way. I simply am not famous enough. I'm not important enough. I don't matter. "You're nothing. You're worthless. Think about it, Bill.
Think about what? If you died, would anyone care? Would they really care? Yeah, maybe they'd cry for a day, but let's be honest. No one would give a shit. They wouldn't." Yes, that's a rash exaggeration of my point, but effective. I must be effective to keep you reading. You don't care what I say, the words I use, as long as I make an impact on your tiny, insignificant brain (I'm only joking).
My book was simply an impulsion to be better. I wanted to show people I could do it. And now I have and that feeling of accomplishment hasn't washed over me yet. Will it? Probably not. That book was something I wouldn't have read myself. Ok the photos were good, there was a little humour in there but nothing that reflects myself. I just wanted to be better.
The publishers will probably never read this post, but if they do, I'm going to be dealing with a shitstorm of an email. Not something I really want to deal with. But I'm tired of faking it. When people ask me about the book I say "Oh yeah, it's great". Great? I mean really Jack. A 9 year old wouldn't find it great let alone your year group of 15 year olds. I asked them to reduce all the prices just as I felt guilty. Guilty of the money people would potentially spend on that book. That book.
If you do feel like buying it, I highly recommend purchasing on a iDevice. The pictures are clear and there are videos in there. I feel even more guilty forcing this abysmal mess down your throat but it is the cheapest there. I seem to have finished on this topic. I haven't got meaningless words to type up and therefore I leave you with the high prospect of your life. Have fun and until next time.